A note about the following text. It is the (nearly) complete journal kept by me during my first backpacking venture, a three week long trek through the Uinta Mountains of northern Utah. The out-of-place formatting is kept true to the words' actual orientation on their original pages. You cannot get more authentic with computer-generated text. In keeping with the censure-less nature of this collection of writings, this will be the first time the entirety of the journal will be "published." I apologize for any embarrassments sustained by others, I will remove offending passages if requested. Finally, all spelling and grammatical errors are retained for the sake of authenticity, and to provide a window into my still young and immature mind in the later half of the year 2007.
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July 22, 2007
Today is the first real day of the trip.
We’ve yet to leave Earlham, dabbling in the
pre-requisites to adventure. I will write about
what is on my mind foremost. There are
a handful of young women at my disposal.
Two are somewhat attractive, more interesting
than anything, and one in particular is
quite cute. Funny how Earlham draws in
cute girls, not the vixens and seductress’s
one usually encounters. She reminds me of
Jill. I’ve found myself staring at her
from time to time. I hope it does
not draw from my adventure.
The handful of fellow males in our
“brigade” are comical at best. One chap
is unusually tall and seems lost in
the ‘70’s. Another is almost as tall, and
almost jock-like. One is nearly a clone
of Paulo and another has hair like
Casey. This will be interesting.
July 23, 2007
Airports. The great nexus’s of the world,
the routers of the United States Network, the
T-pipes of the American pipedream. The
thousand gear machine in a sandbox. I hate
airports. Today I have seen braless women,
cowboys, a statue of Bush reminiscent of
a Greek hero and frightening old men.
Due to delay, we had to change our
plan. I am now part of a sort
of expeditionary team of 6, sent on a
different route to the same destination.
We are about to leave for Salt Lake City,
hopefully the final leg in our trip to our
adventure.
I am not with the cute Jill-like girl, who
is named Ashley. She seems fiercely independent,
much like Jill, and things do not look
well. None the less, we press on.
Where I Come From
Physically I come from the flat
fields of Indiana, riddled with nostalgic
memories and no adventures.
Mentally and socially, I hail from
the Blue Ridge Mountains of western
North Carolina. I grew up there,
and maintain the proper wit and
adventuresome spirit instilled in me there.
I come with pride, eagerness and general
yearning to see the American range
which dwarfs my beloved Appalachia.
For too long I’ve piddled on the
unexciting flatland of Indiana. I’ve neglected
opportunities to expand myself, and now
I’m going to take it all back. I’m
going to the god’s finest sculpturings,
to see what I am really made of
and to experience something the legends of
old reveled in. I am hoping to become
enlightened on the spirit of nature.
July 24, 2007
We arrived in the wilderness today.
I once again feel the vigor of the
mountains. It is truly splendid. I have
been put in a sleeping/cooking group with
Ashley, who reveals more and more
Jill-like traits everyday. She is quiet,
arrogant and strong. Truly strong,
on the level of mental integrity.
And at times I find her
more attractive. How strange this
is. She is Jill as far as I’m
concerned.
We are sleeping under an old
fashioned tarp. I prefer my tents
but we’ll see. We had spaghetti
tonight and it was decent. Breakfast
is going to kill me but we’ll see.
I love the mountains.
July 25, 2007
I do not believe I will ever
again purposely wear so much weight
on my back. I am a weak
group member and this saddens
me. Oh well.
It rained again today. We
managed to make some bean
salsa and cheese tortilla. I am
eating things I hate. Oh
well. Trail mix is also horrid.
Today we also stole a water
bladder from another group. It
is bad and immoral, but necessary.
Minutes before making camp a thunderstorm
rolled into the valley, truthfully
chasing us up the trail. It was
quite ominous, with booming thunder
heralding demoralizing rain.
July 26, 2007
Today we saw two moose. It was
a spectacular moment, and moose
are indeed majestic creatures. Lumbering
giants of the alpine world, feeding
on quaint grass and other greens.
Truly the whales of the mountains.
I finally proved my usefulness to
the group today. I whittled a spoon-like
ladle to scoop out the butter, and
later showed my true worth by
carving our own wooden trowel. I
am happy to finally be an
important part of the team.
We ate macaroni and cheese today.
It was pretty good, even if it
was mostly buttery milk in noodles.
Up to this point I’ve neglected
any detailed descriptions of our surroundings
so I’ll do that now:
The mountains are like great craggy
mounds, showing the stratified rock
of prehistoric times. They are
somewhat rounded at times, but
are nowhere near the graceful
Appalachians.
The forests are reminiscent of
those in the Adirondacks, rocky
and filled with conifers. Weak,
brown grass covers the floor,
also with an abundance of poo.
The strange thing to me are
the sprawling meadows in the middle
of the great expanse of trees.
Laden with quaint wildflowers, and
lush grass, they contrast greatly with
the decaying forest nearby. Hundreds of
trifling streams also flow through
the meadows, in a bed of
rocks almost laid specifically for it.
They are gushing, babbling and serene,
quite a nice addition.
Today we entered an immense bowl.
Carved by a primordial glacier,
we stood surrounded by breathtaking
mountains and peaks. It was
simply beautiful.
July 27, 2007
The moon is out and full on
a clear night. It is somewhat
eerie to see the moon with
so much of its natural light.
I am looking at the stars
but not recognizing any constellations.
This would be the perfect night
to go star gazing with Cassandra.
Today we saw a pika. Funny
little thing, it got about 5 feet
away from the nearest person.
It did not rain today!
I had a very nostalgic moment
today. We made jelly turnovers, and
it tasted just like mommy’s homemade
bread. It was spectacular.
*Here I drew a strange carving I found in the side of a tree.*
I found this carved into a
tree far off the trail. It appears
to be cut via chainsaw, but the
perfect curves are baffling.
The tree is dead but sturdy,
with the insignia on a very
large patch of exposed wood. There
are faint axe marks on the various
areas, insinuating the patch is artificial.
July 28, 2007
Today we went to a very
nostalgic place for me. We
took a short hike down
our valley and came out onto
a long, slightly sloping expanse
of smooth rock lined with
a rushing stream. Everyone was
so excited and amazed by this
feature, this Rocky Mtn. version
of Sliding Rock. All I could
do was smile brightly. Everyone
got in the water but me,
although I did allow my feet
to revisit a mountain stream. It
was very nice and welcome.
We got about ¾ back up the
trail when Ashley realized she
forgot her whistle, so I went
back down with her to fetch it.
July 29, 2007
Today was a bit easier on the
trail. We hiked around 5 miles,
but my pack was unusually light.
The day of rest also helped.
We are camped on a sort
of mini-plateau, among horses
owned by an anonymous shepherd.
They were poorly picketed, and
have mostly broke free.
Now I am sitting by a small
pond, inhabited by these tiny
strange birds who circle the
shore on long slender legs.
It is very serene.
I believe Ashley has shown strange
signs of interest in me. I am
not sure, but we will see.
My Sense of Place
I suppose I interpret that
as who I am compared to
the land and history. And to
that I answer, “No one.” I have
no significant role in these ancient
mountains, and I am nothing
more than a passerby, a wanderer
in search of something the flats
couldn’t give me down below.
If anything I am a trespasser,
someone in a place where I cannot
truly comprehend what has transpired.
I am not able to fathom the
great processes of the Earth which
made these mountains, nor the
abundance of great deeds, both
wonderful and horrible, that have
been committed here. I am
a stranger, someone who the mountains
have seen, and will see for a long
time. I am man; my goal
should be to live with the
mountains, not to conquer them.
July 30, 2007
I am not completely sure why
but I am quite bitter tonight.
These fools are wearing thin on me.
Loud, disrespectful fools, the whole
obnoxious lot of them. I was
an ass at the time of leader
evaluation but I don’t care.
I am being me, nothing else
can be said.
On a lighter note, today was
somewhat interesting. We went down
a vicious downhill, or three, and
encountered a herd of sheep.
We also saw some old fences
made of ancient logs. It
was quite cool.
Our permanent environment has already
been described, but I feel I
should describe something that
has caught my eye in recent days; wildflowers.
There are an abundance of truly
pretty wildflowers here. Blues,
purples, yellows and even reds
dot the mountainsides. The darkest
blue flowers are like little trumpets,
barely off the ground and staring
up into the sky.
A more purple variation grows among
the rocky slopes. It is much
taller though, with the blossom drooping
towards the earth.
Yellow daisies shower the land,
bringing brightness to the dull
rocks. The most interesting though
are the red, spiky flowers
which appear on the crags.
*Here I attempted to draw an example of the flowers I just described.*
“Do you play those war games?
Like Mario Kart?”
-Zoey
“I’m ok, my positive energy
bubble protected me.”
-Nathan
July 31, 2007
Today was an intense day. We
hiked up a vicious pass without
a trail, and then engaged in
a gender based discussion. We did,
however have an excellent dinner.
Hash browns with awesome pancakes
and honey really made my day.
It finally stormed today, ironically
after we passed back into the
North Uinta’s.
Tomorrow we attempt Tomahama ----,
or something Peak. It is best \
I go to sleep now. v
Tokowana
August 1, 2007
Today I accomplished a major
feat in the Warner Family. I
climbed Tokowana Peak. Not that
that means much, but still. I
am the first Warner to
ascend a peak in the Uinta’s.
It was a frightening climb,
I was honestly scared sometimes.
The rocks were loose and easy
to tumble. It was also a
very high climb, coming in at
around 13,000 feet.
We also saw another moose today,
as well as a very far away
elk, and 4 mule deer who
bounded into the meadow.
I miss meat.
*Here I drew an odd and mostly incoherent doodle of what I can only describe as "pauldrons".*
August 2, 2007
I hate people. I am
suddenly thrust back into the
world, out of my bubble of
natural harmony and silent bliss.
Loud, obnoxious fools. At least me
brigade is more calm than the
other.
I was Leader of the Day
today, Whitney and I. It went
fairly well, although Rebekah almost
got dehydrated.
Something is being forged between
Ashley and I. I am not sure
if it is just time, a compatible
match up, or even if she is attracted
to me as well, but it is
something.
We will see.
Assignments.
-Letter to Self
Topic- Where am I now
-Observation exercise
-30 minutes observe 1x1 foot
plot of ground
-30 minutes observe 10x10 foot
plot of ground
-Sketch and write observations
-Pick Contemplative Readings, respond
via poetry
-Read Conservative Aesthetic
August 5, 2007
I missed 2 days in this
journal, so it shall be especially
long.
Much has transpired since
the last entry, and potentially
wonderful things are taking fold.
The night before last, Ashley
and I were laying in a meadow
stargazing. We talked a little, and
I decided to tell her I liked
her. She then replied she liked me
too. We snuggled close to each other,
and held hands in the night.
The following night, we once
again lay in the open stargazing.
She laid her head on my shoulder,
and confessed some deep secrets.
The only dilemma is that she
is not sure if she wants
to start anything back at Earlham.
I only have 2 options, both
of which I will do. I can
only continue to spend time with
her, to have her like me
enough to do something, and
wait for her. I hate
waiting, but we will see.
I am doing solo now. It
blows. I have been deprived
of my precious knife, and
given a small tarp with
just 2 ropes. My “shelter”
is a disgrace, and food is
meager. Let us hope I survive
the night.
August 6, 2007 Morning
It really is rewarding to
wake up to a sunny morning
after a night of rainy misery.
A major thunderstorm rolled through
at twilight last night, with some
lightning strikes being only 7 seconds
away. It was a little scary,
and very miserable, but I feel
quite accomplished after waking up
okay.
My shelter is better since last
time I wrote in here. It still
has a design flaw I intend to
fix though
*Here I drew a doodle of the state of disarray that my shelter was in.*
Blueberry bagel with honey is
a very welcome breakfast.
At least I can eat all
of my lunch today and not
ration it.
I have come to a realization.
I love my computer, technology,
and video games, but I don’t
really need them. I am occupied,
and enjoying myself, out here in
the wilderness. My games are
simply a quick fix for being
bored. It is a shame Indiana
has nothing better to do.
I miss Ashley. Just sleeping
by her is comforting. I cannot
wait until our next night together.
Hopefully she can’t either.
1x1
Spruce needles of all ages cover
the ground, from the newly
departed orange needle to the
broken grey needle of ancient
times. Small twigs bleached white
by the relentless sun accompany
the needles. Single vibrant green
leaflets thrust themselves up through
the matrix of fallen needles, beginning
a new member to the forest
family. A berry-baring plant dominates
the sparse ground. Small, elliptical
leaves adorn the stems, hiding the
few tiny, green berries each plant
harnesses. The berries are reminiscent
of blueberries, although smaller and
varying in color from green to
burgundy. One particular anonymous
berry plant is a sort of
magenta, my guess being that it
is nearly dead.
Small cays of grass dot
the sea of needles, with
an occasional spired stalk
of seeds shooting towards
the sky. Old, brown cones
lay on the ground, forgotten
by the mother tree which
bore them.
10x10
Three middle-aged spruce dictate
the three corners of my square,
myself being the fourth. Their
lower third branches are like
skeletal fingers, deathly grey and
wisping around anything the ventures
near. A host of small spruce
trees cling to the base of the
southern tree, as a group of frightened
children would a parent.
Two archaic trees lay rotting
between the southern and
western trees. Slender and
straight, these old trunks are
knotted with the broken fragments
of former branches, much like the
spines of forgotten giants.
A single chute of daisy stands
crippled between the rotting spruces.
Slouching greatly, it appears to be
ready to collapse. Its golden disks
are encircled by crumpled white petals,
half of which are missing.
A platoon of half-buried rocks
crown the tips of the broken
trees. A miniature forest of the
unknown berry bushes stand among
the rocks, adding life to an otherwise
dreary graveyard.
An angled rotten stump juts from
the ground next to the dead
trees. Small leafy green plants
encircle it, whereas clumps of
the fallen needles lay in its
hollow.
Two child-trees make up the
border between the western and
northern trees. A circle of rocks
guard the base of the
northern tree, with an old, rotting
stick serving as a gate to
a grove of the berry plants.
My Inspiration
A childhood spent among trees,
Turning over rocks in the Davidson River.
Clambering up mountains on my knees,
Never thinking it would change, ever.
Visits to Indiana’s beech groves,
Grandpa’s unforgettable Jeep rides.
Simple happiness coming in droves,
My love for nature growing before it bides.
Ancient heroes of fact and lore,
Tolkien’s most majestic and Japan’s strongest.
The great swords and feats they bore,
Making saga’s and books the longest.
My failed endeavors with womenfolk,
Hours spent depressed and brooding.
Deception and betrayal of fellow menfolk,
Withdrawal into myself as a selfish hooding.
All of this is my inspiration,
The pathway of my road of words.
Sometimes easy, other times from desperation,
Allowing my soul to take flight with the birds.
August 6, 2007 Afternoon
The sun indeed moves slow in
its arc through the heavens. I
had to eat my banick, I was
hungry and bored. I gave in
and ate my breakfast too
though, so now I will not
eat until lunch tomorrow. Please
let it be a swift coming.
I rested today, for the
most part. It is rather boring
now. I wish to see Ashley
again.
My banick was good and
hearty. I am going to have
to make it, along with
the butter/onion/green pepper pasta
back home.
August 6, 2007 Sunset
I shouldn’t have eaten the
oatmeal. Karma is certainly a bitch.
I’ve read almost everything
entertaining in the reader, and
it is still not time for bed.
This solo has been boring
and unexciting. At least I
was able to dry my
socks today. It’s rambling
time.
I wonder how everything is back
home. I hope everyone is still
together, even Vince and Danika.
I can’t wait until GW:EN
comes out. I’ve gotta beat
NF first though >_<
Omg, SCII… it’s going to
Omg, SCII… it’s going to
be awesome.
Spaghetti
Lee’s Chicken
Clara’s
El Rodeo
BK
Cubed Steak
Mash tatoes
Mac and cheese
Biscuits
Ham sandwhich
Chips
Pretzels
Oats
Pop tarts
Swiss cakes
Mt. Dew
Orange Soda
Coke
Bacon
I want to play AoK
now, and some SC as well.
And Pokemon… gotta level up
team and Rhyperior. I need to
finish Gundam 0079 too.
Man, I miss Harrison. And
Franke. Only had 2 years
with both. Such a shame.
I wonder what Harrison would
think of this. I can just
imagine it.
*What follows is a few pages of random doodles, ranging from cartoons of my Art Teacher to X-wings blowing up pizzas.*
August 9, 2007
Once again I am lacking
persistence on this journal. Yesterday
was our first day of Supervised
Independent Travel. We hiked
over Dead Horse Pass and
then went about 7 miles after
that. We made good time
but were all exhausted. The
day before we hiked to
Dead Horse Lake, supposedly
about 4 miles but tiring
none the less.
Developments have been made
with Ashley. Every night we’ve spent
alone looking up at the stars.
Last night was very intimate, for we
were very close and rubbed our
cheeks, necks, and noses together in
a very tingling and thrilling way.
We decided to be more
casual and get to know
each other more before anything
serious is started. We are
both about to transition to
college and it is probably for
the best. I just hope
this all comes out in my
favor. I definitely feel something
about her. Our time together
is the best, and I’m going
to miss it.
There are two woodpeckers in
the huge, dead spruce next to
me. They are very high up,
and doing their usual drilling duties.
Today we pass through Rocky Sea
Pass, hike about 2-3 miles,
and set up camp. Thankfully
it’ll be easy.
August 10, 2007
I am making pancakes. The
light is fading so this
won’t be long.
People aggravate me. It’s
as simple as that. Most
of the group is playing
some foolish card game
inches away from me as
I slave over our puny
little stove. I am the
scourge of men. Oh well.
I have been committing
a dire mistake. Talking about
Cassandra with Ashley has
been a major mistake. Let
us hope it does not
jeopardize my campaign.
Today we hiked through
a deep gorge that reminded
me of DuPont. It was great.
August 11, 2007
My vision is becoming distorted.
Tonight the brigade decided
to cook and eat all the
food. So much food. I
am on the verge of
vomiting so I won’t
repeat the list now.
Most of today was crap.
I awoke with a sore
throat and in a bitter mood.
It wasn’t until the evening
when Ashley asked what was
wrong that I felt better.
The campaign seems fine.
Let us hope it is.
Tomorrows the last
day of hiking, and it
is our longest day, coming
in at about 11 miles. Let
us hope it goes fine.
Well I just threw up.
Not too much, but
enough. First time in
my life that I’ve eaten
so much I had to
vomit. So here goes…
Thick cinnamon bread
Thick vegetable/lintels/noodles/
mash potato soup x 5 scoops
Rice w/marinara sauce
Half bowl of thick
mash potatoes
One large slice of
cinnamon bread and
other half of mash
potatoes saved.
Vomit on the ground.
*Here I doodled the side of a hill across the lake from me, its image something I can recall to this day.*
August 13, 2007
The mountains stand crowning us,
totems of feats of endurance,
cooperation, and aspiration.
Yesterday was our last day
of hiking. The slight downhill and
easy terrain made it an easy
day. We arrived in camp about
10 minutes before the Other Brigade.
Nathan arrived with bags of
spaghetti noodles and cans of
Prego, and it was splendid. 4
hefty scoops of pasta beat most
people.
I showered last night. It
was a very welcomed experience.
I lacked soap, but still got
efficiently clean.
The campaign is sufficient.
More time is needed.
This morning we had cereal.
Two percent milk! Lucky Charms
off-brand! Jubilations! Lunch
will probably be lunch meat,
and dinner is a bloody COOKOUT!
Huzzah!
Where I am Going
I’m going to college. Moreso,
I’m going nowhere. I am staying
home, maintaining my way of
life, adding that of “higher
learning.” I am a scholar. A
scholar who just hiked like
63.8 miles or something over
the span of 3 weeks with
a 70 lb. pack on my back.
I suppose I am on the
last leg of the first third
of my life. After this session
of scheduled learning I am
going to transition to a life
that I fully control. Eerie
as it is, it is somewhat
exciting.
The blade is cleansed in
holy water, arcing in the
sky to punish not the man,
but the evil which resides within him.
*What follows is a series of statements from everyone in my group, written on our final day together.*
Brock
His spirit; even when he’s in a bad
mood, he won’t let it show or spread
You had pretty interesting
stories with the tree
cutting experience
You always make good points when
you talk, and always are willing
to inspire a discussion.
Brock - It was really nice to
have someone to talk to about
North Carolina. Your leadership skills
are a hidden gem that should be
used more often!
You are very quiet, but when you speak
your point is always worth listening to.
At first you were very
reserved but once you opened up
you were great fun. You were
definitely a staple to the group.
I appreciate your growth and development
on the trip. You have a lot to say…
Keep saying it.
I like your quiet sense of
patience and your insightful
perceptions.
I liked that your another person whose a
little shy but unwilling to put up with
a lot of the bullshit. Your very much
your own person which I think is
great.
I’m glad another somewhat out-of-shape, lanky
gamer went on this trip. It helped
to know someone else was in the same
boat as me.
Hey Brock,
You were a pleasure
to have on this trip. Even though
at times you may have thought you were
being negative and pessimistic I could see
you having a great time and really taking in all
the Uintas have to offer. I hope you enjoy
Earlham and take advantage of all it has to
offer to! P.S. – thanks for making me smile : )
Thanks for stepping
up – you’re a good
leader when you give
yourself the chance, and
I hope you continue to
take those chances.
